Posted on May 24, 2022 in Divorce

While much has been written about going through a divorce with a spouse who suffers from narcissism, depression, or even psychopathy, borderline personality disorder (or BPD) is so common and unpredictable that many people who get divorced do not even know that their spouse suffers from a specific mental illness - they just know they cannot take it anymore.

Between one and five percent of the population has BPD and, for unknown reasons, most of them appear to be women. BPD often manifests with symptoms that are similar to those of other personality disorders - unpredictable mood changes, attachment difficulties, impulsiveness, and other difficulties with self-regulation. These behaviors can make it difficult to stay married, but can also make it very difficult to get divorced. If you know or suspect your spouse may have BPD, it is important to be prepared for the implications this may have on your Illinois divorce.

Why Is Divorcing Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder So Hard?

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on May 23, 2022 in Family Law

Many would-be parents face a difficult uphill struggle when trying to create the family of their dreams. Thanks to modern technology, many options are available to help those who cannot conceive on their own, and the method you choose will depend on your preferences, your budget, your health, and many other factors.

One method that proves effective for many people is using a surrogate mother who carries a baby on their behalf. There is more than one type of surrogacy and many different agencies are available to help. However, the process can be legally complex and it is important to make sure you have an experienced Illinois attorney who can help you create an airtight surrogacy agreement. For answers to common questions about surrogacy in Illinois, read on - then contact one of the skilled family law attorneys with A. Traub & Associates.

What Are the Different Types of Surrogacy?

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on May 16, 2022 in Divorce

When you decide to hire a mediator to help you negotiate your Illinois divorce, there are many things you should look for. Experience, education and training, reasonable rates, and professional development are all important. But equally important is the ability to trust that your mediator is truly neutral and invested in helping you negotiate a fair divorce decree. You will discuss sensitive personal issues with your mediator and spend many hours with them, so it is important to choose someone trustworthy.

However, even after the most careful selection process, it may become apparent that your mediator has a conflict of interest that prevents him or her from being truly neutral in your case. If you are worried that your divorce mediator may have a conflict of interest, read on.

What Counts as a Conflict of Interest?

Mediators are the party primarily responsible for determining whether there is a conflict of interest that would prevent them from mediating a given case. But spouses, as well as their attorneys, need to be aware and on the lookout for conflicts as well. Potential conflicts of interest include anything that could limit the ability of a mediator to be completely impartial, including but not limited to:

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on May 15, 2022 in Estate Planning

When you are grieving the loss of a family member, the last thing you want to deal with is a problem regarding their estate plan. Even when estate administration goes smoothly, it can be emotionally difficult for the surviving loved ones. Unfortunately, sometimes concerns over a will’s validity do arise. Family members may get a rather unpleasant surprise when they get around to reading their decedent’s will in some cases. Sometimes the terms of the will are much different from what you expected to find. It could be that the will leaves everything to an individual or organization the family is not familiar with. Or, it could be that the will appears to have been signed well after the decedent became incapacitated. Whatever tips you off that your family member’s will is not valid, there are ways an attorney can help you challenge the will and potentially have it set aside.

What Are Some Signs that My Relative’s Will is Not Valid?

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on May 09, 2022 in Divorce

One of the reasons Illinois couples in unhappy marriages often put off getting divorced is because of the fear of a high-conflict courtroom trial. While divorce trials have rightfully earned a reputation for being expensive, unpleasant, and dramatic, the truth is that very few divorces actually end up in trial anymore. Instead, couples are encouraged or sometimes even mandated to pursue mediation and work out their differences through conversation and compromise with the help of a neutral third party. However, mediation is not always successful and sometimes other factors, such as domestic abuse, can make a trial necessary.

Divorce Trials in Illinois Family Court

Trials are hard on divorcing spouses, but they are particularly difficult for children. They also take up important time and resources from county courthouses that are often overworked and have long waiting times for trial dates. For these reasons, judges usually want to see couples exhaust other options before bringing a divorce case to trial.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on April 29, 2022 in Estate Planning

You have probably seen at least one murder mystery movie where a wealthy individual is killed for their money, typically by an heir. It is a fairly common trope for impatient heirs to take matters into their own hands in order to get their share of a high-value estate faster. Sadly, this trope does sometimes play out in real life. You may have seen one of many true crime shows feature a terrifying episode where a person marries a wealthy individual, intending to murder their spouse and claim the entire marital estate. Certainly, few would want their killer to inherit anything at all. This is where "slayer statutes" come into play. In general, these laws prevent murderers from inheriting any part of their victim’s estate.

What if the Killer Does Not Get Convicted?

If the alleged slayer does get convicted of the murder, this establishes conclusive evidence that they are barred from inheriting. However, it is not necessary. To convict a person of a crime, the state must prove "beyond reasonable doubt" that the defendant committed the crime. However, to activate the slayer statute and bar the killer from inheriting, one need only show that it was more likely than not that the murder occurred as alleged.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on April 26, 2022 in Divorce

Child support payments are an essential resource for divorced or unmarried parents in Illinois. While some people believe that a parent’s moral obligation to help his or her children may last forever, the law in Illinois says that a parent’s financial responsibility to his or her child does eventually end. Parents who are paying or receiving child support may be anxious to know when, exactly, that legal obligation runs out. As with many legal questions, the answer is, “It depends.”

When Does a Child Become an Adult?

The law says that children become legal adults, with all the responsibility that adulthood entails, when they are 18. However, a parent’s financial responsibility for a child does not automatically end when their child turns 18. If the child is still in high school, child support payments may continue until the child graduates from high school or turns 19. Furthermore, while some child support orders include a specific date at which child support payments will end, other parents must go to court to request a termination of payments before they can stop.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on April 18, 2022 in Child Custody

Summertime presents unique challenges to divorced or never-married parents who share underage children in Illinois. Children are out of school, and younger children require full-time care, forcing parents to get creative in finding childcare options and summer activities that are affordable and feasible for their schedules. Coordinating frequent visits and transportation from house to house adds to the complexity of summer schedules. If you are creating or modifying a parenting plan in Illinois, here are three tips to help you co-parent successfully in the coming summer months.

Plan Ahead

Some parents specifically include their summer parenting plan in their initial parenting agreement. Whenever possible, taking this route is recommended for several reasons. First, it allows parents to avoid conflict by making decisions ahead of time. Second, it encourages parents to provide a stable and thoughtful environment for the children during an otherwise unstructured time. Finally, it gives children an idea of what to expect, preventing misbehavior stemming from anxiety or uncertainty about the future.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on April 18, 2022 in Divorce

Researchers have spent thousands of hours with married couples, analyzing their behaviors, communication patterns, and body language to try to determine whether certain actions are predictive of divorce. Perhaps unsurprisingly, there are actions that, when frequently engaged in by couples, make it easier to predict whether a marriage will eventually end. While nobody is perfect and everybody uses unhealthy communication strategies from time to time, if you recognize that the following behaviors frequently appear in your marriage, you may feel trapped and unhappy. If so, it could be time to speak with an Illinois divorce attorney.

Criticism

Part of personal growth and development is knowing when to change your behavior. Sometimes, spouses can be helpful for gently pointing out that certain things need to change. But when your spouse regularly attacks you or your character, you will likely feel criticized and demeaned - and nobody feels good about that. For example, if your spouse does not like the way you load the dishwasher and, instead of asking you to load it differently, accuses you of always being lazy or stupid, your spouse may be overly critical.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on April 11, 2022 in Child Custody

All across Illinois, more and more parents are choosing to homeschool their children. In Chicago alone, nearly 25,000 fewer children were enrolled in public schools in the past two years than in previous years. While it is hard to obtain data specifically for the entirety of Cook County, Illinois does not require homeschooling families to register with the authorities and so the rates of homeschooled children are estimated to likely be even higher than the numbers suggest.

The question of whether or not to homeschool poses a potential dilemma for parents who are divorced. The choice to homeschool one’s children often has as much to do with closely-held beliefs around religion or cultural values as it does with fundamental questions about the competency of Illinois public schools. If parents disagree about homeschooling methods or the reasons for leaving the local public school, which parent gets to decide the best path for a child’s education?

Continue Reading ››